


Joker vs. The Mask

by orphan_account



Category: Batman - All Media Types, The Mask (1994)
Genre: Entertainment, Joker ain't the only clown in town, just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 01:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12180024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This story is based on the comic series Joker Mask, where Joker finds the mask of Loki and uses it to commit some hilarious crimes, but this time, a certain green-faced crime fighter is there to stand in his way, at least for a little while...





	Joker vs. The Mask

"Stop...in the name of the law!"

Joker looked around to find the source of the unfamiliar voice. His eyes fell on a guy in a ridiculous get-up, a yellow suit and a silly-looking green mask.

"Who in blazes are you supposed to be?" Joker spat.

"Ha ha ha!" The only response to Joker's question was that laugh and a cartoonishly wide evil grin as he started spinning...like a tornado?

"Well...some people call me the Big Head Killer, but I really think that's a misnomer, as I don't kill people, usually..." Joker looked around for the source of the voice.

The green-faced figure suddenly appeared in front of him and rested its hand on Joker's shoulder.

"...other people just call me Mask, when they aren't calling me annoying..."

Joker took out his gun, but his target vanished...

"Speaking of annoying..." Joker heard from somewhere behind him.

"Wedgie!" Joker spun around only to be confronted by the inside of his own underwear!

It took Joker a few seconds to figure out what was happening.

"Ohhh! Puddin, I didn't know you wore boxers!" Harley trilled.

"Harley, shut your mouth...or I will do it for you, permanently..."

Joker stood there looking totally ridiculous with his personalized underwear reading "Joker" with little playing card prints clinging tightly to his head. His henchmen and Harley were afraid to help him with it.

Finally, Mr. J got his underwear back where it belonged.

"Ooooohhhhhh!" Joker was really really angry. He took out a ridiculously huge gun that he was hiding somewhere in his coat and took aim.

"Wow, look! Two can play at this game..." Mask said as he pulled an arsenal of weapons out of his pants...

"I've just got one question, do you clowns feel lucky, well, do you?"

"Wow, where'd he get all dat?" Harley asked.

"I don't know...Harl, but...it was nice knowing you..." Joker said.

Joker, Harley, and his henchmen braced for the inevitable.

Mask pulled the trigger and out popped a series of bang flags!

"Ha ha! This time looks like the joke's on you!" Mask said.

It took seconds for Joker to recover, and his men already had their guns drawn and trained on the green-faced guy.

"Was it something I said?" Mask asked.

"Nobody steals my material and lives! Pump him full of lead." Joker said.

Immediately, his men opened fire. When the smoke cleared, Mask was still standing around looking at his watch.

"What? That was a direct hit!" Joker yelled.

"Ha ha! Missed me!" Mask taunted as he proceeded to drink a glass of water that he apparently got out of thin air.

The water started to leak out of little holes that were apparently put into...whatever the guy was made out of.

"...or maybe you didn't...does anyone have a towel?" Mask asked.

"Oh I've got something better than a towel for you! Let's see if you bleed green..." Joker said as he balled up his fists and marched toward Mask.

"Mista J, you have to admit, he is kind a funny." Harley said.

"Whose side are you on, anyway?" Joker asked with an annoyed look on his face.

Mask looked at his watch and let out a yawn.

"Oh come on, haven't you had enough yet? I have other things to do than play with you all night." Mask grumbled.

Joker walked up to Mask and grabbed him by the collar.

Mask gave Joker an evil grin and then wrapped his arms around him and gave him a kiss.

Joker attempted to pull himself out of Mask's embrace. Mask let out another yawn.

"Stop! What's wrong with you?"

"Oh come on! you of all people should know..." Mask paused dramatically and then did a perfect imitation of Joker's voice, "there's plenty wrong with me!"

Joker shuddered for a millisecond than attempted to sock Mask in the mouth.

"Those were MY lines!" Joker shouted.

Mask picked Joker up by the collar.

"You're right, and my timing was off. I'm tired of this game, old bean. Time to let the supporting cast handle you."

With that, Mask dropped him on the ground before he could sock him again.

The sound of sirens came into the distance

"It's the cops, Mr. J."

"I know, Harley, I know. I just need to teach green face here some manners."

Mask looked at Joker and let out a hearty laugh.

"You...teach me manners...now THAT is FUNNY!"

"I can teach you, though..." Mask disappeared from Joker's view again.

Just then, Joker saw the blue lights.

"Edge City PD, freeze!"

"Hey! Good idea!" Mask said. Mask pulled out a remote control.

"Freeze frame!"

Suddenly, Joker and his gang couldn't move a muscle.

"Harley, what's going on here?"

"I don't know, Mr. J."

"You're under arrest!" Kellaway yelled.

"Lieutenant, it looks like the Joker and Harley Quinn."

"Ah, you've heard of me!"

"They do, don't they Doyle? Aren't these two usually in Gotham City?"

"I thought they were from comic books...you mean Gotham is a real place."

"Doyle, of course Gotham is a real place!"

Mask was behind a corner watching the whole scene. In his hands was a comic book with the previous scene printed on it. Mask turned to an invisible audience and whispered, "just when you thought things couldn't get any weirder...ha ha ha!"


End file.
